transmascissues:

building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:

1. it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.
2. it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.
3. it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.
4. the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.

do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!

i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.

and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)

and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.

“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”

and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?

if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.

the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.

i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.

moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.

androgyne-homosapiens:

Androgyne gender identity

Definition:

Androgyne, androgyn or androgynous gender, is an identity under the nonbinary and transgender umbrellas. Androgynes have a gender identity that can be a blend of both or neither of the binary genders. They may describe this as being between female and male, between man and woman, between masculine and feminine or simply ‘in between.’ They can also identify as neither feminine or masculine, or neither female and male.

from the nonbinary wiki

As stated in the definition, androgyne people are trans (they don’t identify exclusively as the gender they were assigned at birth), and nonbinary (they are not one of the binary genders). Of course it is up to an individual to choose the words they use to identify themselves with.

The word androgyne has an interesting history, at times it was used as an umbrella term similar to nonbinary (I won’t go in to much more detail here, but there is more info in the nonbinary wiki).

androgyne, androgyny, androgynous

As a rule, androgyne refers to a gender identity, while Androgyny refers to gender expression (androgynous would be the word used to describe an individual using androgyny as their gender expression). A person may identify as androgyne, and not be androgynous, and a person my be androgynous and not identify as androgyne.

But the split isn’t quite so clear. In theory:

Androgyny is a wide category of gender expression that either mixes or omits markers of both feminine and masculine gender expression.

The nonbinary wiki

But,

Androgyny possession of both masculine and feminine characteristics. Androgyny may be expressed with regard to biological sex, gender identity, or gender expression.

Wikipedia

It is explained well in this post, but I think a good way to understand the difference is that androgyne is an androgynous gender identity. While androgyne will be used as a gender identity, and androgyny is more general reference to a blend of male and female characteristics.

What is overall the most important to understand that use of these words for individuals will vary. General use of these terms has changed over time. If an individual feels that these words help them to understand themselves (even if they don’t fit the “exact definitions”) than that is what is important. Words are here to benefit us.

Here is a useful graphic to understand the “androgyne spectrum”:

androgyne spectrum

[ID: a scale, starting from the left with “Female” and “Feminine”, then “Gynx”, “Androgyne” and “Androgynous”, “Androx”, “Male” and “Masculine”. End]

from this post, by @bentonthegay. And this post gives a good explanation about it, and about androgyne as a gender identity:

I think that the specific thing that makes Androgyne an identity all its own that I believe is within the center of the gender spectrum, right alongside other non-binary genders that blur the line between “male” and “female”.
Androgyne is the “neither” and/or “both” of the spectrum. It’s a bit of a blend of selected traits from both sides. Given, that means very different things to different people, so I imagine that not every Androgyne person dresses or behaves just like I do. […] The part of the identity that sets it apart is how Androgyne people feel about themselves. 
As an Androgyne person, I believe that I am not a man or a woman. I reside comfortably between the extremes. So I guess it’s not just a mix, it’s more that I’m a blurred segment of the gradient between them.
I do believe that Androgyne is an identity by itself and not just “a mix of female and male traits”. Given, that’s like saying a banana split is just ice cream with bananas and sweet toppings. You’re not wrong, but it’s not just that.

post by @androgynepositivity

Another important point to remember that while androgyne is a mix of the two binary genders, it is also connected to neutrality, being in the middle of the spectrum, it is “both” and “neither”, and can be different for each person.

Similarly, androgyny can be both presenting femininely and masculinely at the same time, or more of a neutral look, neither feminine nor masculine.

multigender?

Depending on the person, androgynes may see themselves as falling under the multigender umbrella.

in the “Brochure for the Human Outreach and Achievement Institute” (1987) the following definition is found:

Androgyne: A person who can comfortably express either alternative gender role in a variety of socially acceptable environments. (Includes bigenderist)

Source

This is both an interesting historical look on the meaning of androgyne, but also the close connection androgyne has with the multigender (and in particular bigender) community.

The meaning of bigender has expanded in the past 30+ years. It refers to people who have two specific gender identities, these identities may be male and female but also may not be. Seemingly this can include androgynes.

The choice to include oneself under the multigender/bigender umbrella should be a personnel one. Do I feel like being androgyne is a mix of two things? Or perhaps it is one identity, one gender? Maybe the experiences of multigendered people resonate with me, and I would like to be connected to their community regardless? The history connects androgynes and multigended people. At any rate, we are all queer and therefore connected.

micro-labels

• Femandrogyne: an androgyne person that feels more feminine than masculine.
• Mascandrogyne: an androgyne that feels more masculine than feminine.
• Neutrandrogyne: an androgyne with equal amounts of masculinity and femininity, and/or simply neutral.
• Versandrogyne: an androgyne with amounts of femininity and masculinity that fluctuate, for example they could go between femandrogyne and mascandrogyne.
• Demiandrogyne: an androgyne who relates partially, but not fully, to the androgyne experience (this term is also under the demigender umbrella).

Thank to @androgyne-culture-is in this post for the deffintions, they can also be found in the LGBTQIA+ Wiki.

flags and symbols

The official androgyne pride flag is:

[ID: flag with three vertical stripes, in the colors, from left to right: pink, purple, and light blue. End]

The pink represents femininity, the light blue masculinity, and the purple a mix of them both.

This is a great post explaining about other flags that are less known, based off the nonbinary wiki.

One important symbol is:

[ID: a circle with an arrow coming out of the top, and a horizontal line underneath the triangle of the arrow. End]

This symbol is a mix of female (Venus) and male (Mars) symbols. It is also an intersex symbol, and a symbol for other genders. In the image the symbol is pointing up, but it is sometimes depicted pointing to other directions.

Another important symbol is the Necker Cube:

[ID: illustration of a cube. End]

Necker Cube
n. 1. An optical illusion in the shape of a cube. May take either of two forms:

Proposed by the author as a symbol of androgyny, because it is either concave or convex depending on how you look at it. I prefer this to the mars-plus-venus sign, which depends upon a juxtaposition of stereotpyes (sword and shield for male, looking-glass for female), and which, furthermore, combines the signs for the two most irritating gods in the Roman pantheon. If we must depend on Greek mythology, I would prefer to take a cue from Janus and use some variation of the two-faces motif on the cover of some editions of The Left Hand of Darkness. The Necker cube, however, is simpler, and suggests ambiguity in more than mere gender. Who wants to design the lapel pin?

 The Angel’s Dictionary, part of the Androgyny RAQ

And for more info: Practical Androgyny

There is much more history to the word and identity. Many more experiences it could include, but there is only so much I can cover. I do hope that nothing I’ve written makes it seem like this identity has rigid rules that need to be adhered to in order to identify with it. On the contrary. This seems to be a very broad and open way of identifying, and different aspects of it may resonate with many.

This is very helpful! My partner has been identifying as androgyne but with fluctuations and versandrogyne is surprisingly one I haven’t seen before! I sent it to them :D

Thanks for using my graphic! 💜 Always happy to see stuff I’ve visualized be used to help others

one-time-i-dreamt:

ALT

what the everloving fuck

Y'all this gets more wild every day

i-am-a-fish:

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everythingfox:

Getting pampered

dunmertitty:

“what if people transition and then regret it?” ok. let’s do that with everything. no more straight marriages until the heterosexual divorce rate is below the detransition rates

schizopositivity:

If you don’t judge people for saying “sorry adhd brain” in public, then don’t judge people for saying “sorry schizophrenia brain” in public

If you correct people when they misuse the term “ocd” then you need to correct people when they misuse the terms “psychotic”, “delusional”, “hallucinating” and “schizophrenic”

If you don’t stare, laugh at or fear a stranger in public flapping their hands, then you need to do the same for a stranger in public talking to someone who isn’t actually there.

If you give a trigger warning to sensitive topics then you need to give a trigger warning to unreality and false information as a prank.

If you want to normalize medication like antidepressants you also need to normalize medications like antipsychotics.

If you don’t like people without your disorder joking about it online and report it as harassment, then you need to do the same for the tons of nonschizophrenics making “schizoposting” memes to make fun of us.

Just please include schizo-spec and psychotic acceptance into your mental illness/neurodiversity acceptance. We are part of your community whether you like it or not. We are constantly stigmatized, misrepresented and made fun of. We do what we can to help you, please return the favor.

Mental illness/neurodiversity acceptance is an ongoing action. We will get nowhere in the long run if we split the community into the “in” group and the “out” group. We could all accomplish so much if we worked together. But you need to include the “weird” people that don’t fit into your aesthetic and don’t fit the social norms.

Us psychotics and schizo-specs have been struggling for years and have been the only people fighting for ourselves while the people we plead to barely see us as human. If you are nonpsychotic and nonschizo-spec, you can help us more than you realize. Please include us and stick up for us the same way we have been including and sticking up for you.

:

Autokin- Flags! (based off my auto- redesigns and @en8y’s autokinsexual flag)

Autokin: attraction towards your kin

Without heart | Autokin (general)

Autokinsexual | Autokinromantic

Autokinplatonic | Autokinqueerplatonic

Autokinsensual | Autokinalterous

Question: like attracted to people who have the same kintype as you? Attraction towards the character/person your kintype is?

Or attracted to /what/ the kin is?

andthebeanstalk:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called “hlep”.

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help (“I can’t drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?”, or “Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me.”), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you ask for but is what they think you should have asked for (“I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it’s better for you!”, “I didn’t want to ruin Donna’s day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!”) And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they “were just helping you! You should be grateful!!”

And my therapist pointed out that this is not “help”, it’s “hlep”.

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it’s not help. It’s hlep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it helps reinforce the false idea that disabled people can’t be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don’t be a hleper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they’ve put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the “getting angry at a disabled person’s attempts to point out harmful behavior” part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it’d be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you’d order a pizza because you know I’ll feel better once I eat something!!